Jealous
by SmileR5
Summary: It's been a year since it happened, and every day since he cannot stop thinking about her and the way she made him feel. He's jealous of her smiling, her being happy, her not being his to hold, to touch. That is until he turns up a year later at her doorstep... (RAURA ONE-SHOT.)


**Hello lovelies!**

 **It's currently 1:25am in England, but I couldn't sleep, so I read instagram for a bit, and the raura hashtag, and I saw a lot of things about Rourtney breaking up, Raura rising... I dunno. BUT, then I had this idea and had to write it straight away.**

 **It's a little everywhere, and not edited because I'm too tired to do that much, so it will get edited, just not now.**

 **I hope you like it, and don't hate me tooooooooooo much at the end ;).**

 **ALSO, I do not HATE Courtney at all, and this isn't a 'hate' story on her. I did hear about her blocking Raura accounts, and that is a little childish, I mean if she was an adult and happy with Ross surly she'd just ignore everyone? I dunno. Its whatever. If Ross is happy, i'm happy, but I do really, really hard-core ship RAURA. They're meant to be together dudes.**

 **Anyway, enjoy lovelies!**

* * *

"Just get out, Ross," She screamed. "Leave, and never come back!"

I studied her small, delicate frame for a few seconds, watching as the tears fell from her burning red eyes. One, two, three...

I walked towards her, only for her to take two more back. "Laura, I'm sorry, I..."

"Now!"

"It wasn't my fault, s-she... I-I... it wasn't my fault!"

"It wasn't your fault," She sniffed and laughed sarcastically. I could see the anger building up inside her, every vein boiling her skin. "It never is your fault, is it? It never is - NEVER!"

"Laura, please - " I didn't even know I was crying by this point. Everything ached, and it's not my fault.

"You could've said no, but you didn't. All the other times you did, this time you didn't. Why? You said you loved me... you said you loved me!"

"I do!" I lunged forward and grabbed her hands.

She pulled back and shook her head, silence consuming us both in the small dressing room.

"Just go..."

I looked up at her, "What?"

"Go," She looked at me and demanded, "And never come back. Ross, don't you _dare_ come back."

"Laur... Laura, what about the show?"

She swallowed, "Its over in a week, then after the Paley, we never have to see each other again."

I stepped forward and stood in front of her. I reached my hand up to caress the side of her face, but she moved her face away from my hand and shut her eyes tightly.

"Please," She whispered, then looked into my eyes. A tear fell slowly, tormenting me. "Get out..."

My mouth was dry, my cheeks stained, so I just nodded and left. I shut the dressing room door slowly, waiting for her to call me back, but all I was left with was hearing her scream and the sobs taking over her body.

... Then I left.

 _I'm jealous of the rain_  
 _That falls upon your skin_  
 _It's closer than my hands have been_  
 _I'm jealous of the rain_

I see her walk out the shop carrying three bags on each arm. She wore her hair in loose curls, ripped jeans and a jumper bigger than her, and her heals. I smiled watching her walk down the street, laughing with her sister. Its been four weeks, and I haven't spoken to her or the cast once. It hurts, but I got forced to do what I did...

The sky then roared, and it suddenly got dark. Everyone rushed to pull out an umbrella to prevent them from getting wet. I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked at her again. The rain started pouring, drenching her from head to toe.

I watched as she smiled wildly and spun a few times. I loved how she loved the rain. How she allowed her skin to be exposed to it so easily, even with a jumper and jeans on.

I soon became jealous of the skin the rain was touching, taking advantage of something I now couldn't hold...

 _I'm jealous of the wind_  
 _That ripples through your clothes_  
 _It's closer than your shadow_  
 _Oh, I'm jealous of the wind_

I watched closely as she walked into the Clevver building. R5 had an interview in just under two hours, and Laura had one now.

"Dude, is that Laura?"

I look back at Rocky, "Yeah, she doesn't know we're here. I didn't know she was coming here."

"That's because you don't talk anymore,"

I nodded, "Yep. Don't rub it in or nothing, ay."

We both see as she walked out of the building with her Mum and her agent, the wind blowing her hair back, and rippling through her clothes.

He patted my shoulder, "You definitely let go of something special, bro."

I sighed and watched the wind tangle her hair up and make tiny creases in the bottom of her dress. "I know..."

I then became jealous of the wind, tingling her skin, giving her goose bumps just like I used to...

 _I wished you the best of_  
 _All this world could give_  
 _And I told you when you left me_  
 _There's nothing to forgive_  
 _But I always thought you'd come back, tell me_  
 _All you found was heartbreak and misery_  
 _It's hard for me to say,_  
 _I'm jealous of the way_  
 _You're happy without me_

"Ross, what are you doing in here?"

I look at her whole-heartedly, "We wrap tonight...and, I, uh..."

"What?"

"I wish you the best that this torturing world can give, and I hope that your singing career takes off and you become an overnight sensation when your single comes out," I give a small smile to ease things, but it does nothing.

"I want to say thank you for an amazing four years, and sorry for last week..."

She looked at me with dull eyes, "I told you to not come back, and you did. So, since you wont leave, I will..."

"Laura, I'm so, so sorry..."

"Sorry doesn't change this Ross. You've broke my heart. I just..."

She sighed and walked towards the door with all of her things. She stops before opening it, not daring to turn around.

"I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you..."

She shut the door and left me in her empty dressing room. I looked down at the ring on m finger - the wedding ring from our wedding episode. I sighed and threw my arms down beside me and hit something on my right.

A canvas.

 _The_ canvas.

She left it.

"I love you more..." I licked my lips and held the canvas in my hand. The same canvas she had for three years after we got together in 2012.

I blew air out of my mouth loudly and sat on the sofa. She said sorry and she had no reason too, and not good enough? She was everything...

I walked out of her dressing room with the canvas to go and get my things from my own dressing room. As I retrieve my things, I hear laughter. I know that laugh too well.

I look around the corner, and there she stands, a smile plastered to her face.

I then became jealous that she's happy without me...

 _I'm jealous of the nights_  
 _That I don't spend with you_  
 _I'm wondering who you lay next to_  
 _Oh, I'm jealous of the nights_

A few months have passed by and I've still had no contact with any of the cast. Laura got her own radio show, and showing up to that was heart breaking. The half smiles I delivered as I watched her are becoming more frequent around everyone.

My fans think I'm depressed... I was just miserable and my heart ached.

Now, I watch Raini's snapchat, and she's dancing, smiling and laughing like her usual self. If I was with her still, I would be there, or at her house waiting for her to come home. Now, that could be someone else's job.

My stomach then turned at the thought.

I soon became jealous of the person she will be laying next too at night...

 _I'm jealous of the love_  
 _Love that wasn't here_  
 _Gone for someone else to share_  
 _Oh, I'm jealous of the love_

"Of course I will meet you! You're my best friend!"

I over hear the phone call between my sister and Laura. She sounds so loving on the phone, so innocent and sweet.

"You're also coming to my tea party for my birthday, right?"

"Of course!"

I smiled a little bit, watching as my sister appreciates the love Laura is giving her, unlike some...

I get pulled out of a day dream by Rydel speaking, "I know you don't like talking about it, but Laura is such a fun, loving person, you should have taken her love forever, and now someone else will... get it back, Ross..."

I widen my eyes as I realise someone is going to appreciate her love more than I ever did, and my heart starts beating faster. My eyes gloss over a little. She'll eventually not love me.

I soon became jealous of whoever she'll come to love and the amount of love she gives...

 _I wished you the best of_  
 _All this world could give_  
 _And I told you when you left me_  
 _There's nothing to forgive_  
 _But I always thought you'd come back, tell me_  
 _All you found was heartbreak and misery_  
 _It's hard for me to say,_  
 _I'm jealous of the way_  
 _You're happy without me_

 _As I sink in the sand_  
 _Watch you slip through my hands_  
 _Oh, as I die here another day_  
 _'Cause all I do is cry behind this smile_

Every day became harder and harder. I messed up really bad, and each day I remind myself of it, yet I do nothing about it. What's happened to me? A hopeless romantic turned into a depressed twenty-year-old.

I'm sinking towards six-feet under each more every day as she builds back up her pride, happiness and self-esteem. I see her instagram posts, her facebook posts, her tweets... everyone loves her. How could you not?

I've let her go twice... that's twice too many. I'm dying a little everyday, working day after day, nothing but her pictures to give me the energy I need to work...

I'd often smile now and then with fans, the one's that still like me anyway. But, all I do is cry behind each smile, each tear washing away my humanity.

I soon became jealous of her living her life still as I've slipped through the sand...

 _I wished you the best of all this world could give_  
 _And I told you when you left me_  
 _There's nothing to forgive_  
 _But I always thought you'd come back, tell me_  
 _All you found was heartbreak and misery_  
 _It's hard for me to say,_  
 _I'm jealous of the way_  
 _You're happy without me_

 _It's hard for me to say,_  
 _I'm jealous of the way_  
 _You're happy without me_

So now, I'm sitting in my car outside her house, waiting for the perfect moment. A year has gone by, and all I have done is think about what I did, and how it 'wasn't my fault'. Well, it was, and I know that now. I can't believe I allowed myself to let her think she wasn't good enough.

Stupid publicity stunts. They're a load of shit that break people up and push them apart. Well not anymore.

I exhale deeply and get out of my car and walk up to her front door. I shakily ring the doorbell, and after three knocks, she answers.

She stands there, shorts and... my jumper. I smile a little then look her.

Her eyes are wide and her mouth a little gapped. "Ross?"

I swallowed, "I broke up with Courtney..."


End file.
